'Twas the Night Before Surgery

01.31.12

WHOA! I don't even know where to begin with this one. I just got off the phone with a nurse who informed me that, not only was my hip being operated on tomorrow, but my right shoulder as well. I took the news lightly since I can't use my right arm anyways. Might as well operate, right?

The past few months have been a total whirlwind of declining health. I've always been "healthy" with no real concerns that I was aware of. I was blessed to go into the doctor's office and be able to check "no" to the form questions that I've filled out so often.

Within such a short time, so much has changed. I'll have to check "yes" to many things.

I've felt like a science experiment this week after bone scans, blood tests and another MRI.

Good news -- AVN was detected in my left shoulder, BUT it was so insignificant that surgery is not necessary unless it worsens. Also, my bone scans only showed AVN in my hips and right shoulder. I was already aware of that. So - no new problems with my bones and joints!

My phone has been ringing off the hook! Doctors, nurses and everything in between have been scheduling things and calling me with updates. Like I said ... WHOA!

I guess the worrying hasn't settled in yet and maybe it won't. I'm at peace with the situation and looking forward to my recovery. I'm still focusing on the doctors words: "Short-term crisis, long-term benefits."

Without a doubt, the hardest part has been not being able to fully care for my children. My husband has certainly been working overtime. He started a new job on Monday and doesn't get much of a break when he returns home. He's a great father and husband. I don't always give him the credit he deserves. And in some ways, I'm honestly jealous that he is still able to do things I want to do.

I enjoy being independent. But after surgery, I'll be totally dependent on my husband, my parents, his parents, nurses, co-workers, friends. I'm beyond grateful for them. I just wish I could do it all myself.

At work, I've been told I'm being overly optimistic about returning to work soon after surgery. That's probably true, but it also drives me. I don't want to feel useless.

Hopefully tonight I can get some good rest. I can't eat or drink past midnight tonight until after my surgery at 2:00 p.m. tomorrow. THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY since I'm used to eating every two hours or so.

I thank the good Lord, that I did receive some good news this week. And that I do have a support system to be dependent upon. I'm thankful that I feel at peace with myself and my condition and I give all the credit to the Man above. I can do this ...