The secret

Sunday, March 08, 2009

somebody save me

Breathe you out
Breathe you in
You keep coming back to tell me
you’re the one who could have been
and my eyes see it all so clear
It was long ago and far away but it never disappears
I try to put it in the past
Hold on to myself and don’t look back
I don’t wanna dream about
All the things that never were
Maybe I can live without
When I’m out from under
I don’t wanna feel the pain
What good would it do me now
I’ll get it all figured out
When I’m out from under

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Sonata

Yayyyyy.

got an A for one of my modules.
phew...

okay which means, the standard set 4 myself is basically b. Anything less than tat is unacceptable.
If i can maintain tat means im ready to take on an honours degree end of this year.

And the target set would be 1st class or 2nd upper .
Okay enough of that.


i donot know why,
my ears are tuned to classical n orchestra music.
U noe like beethoven n mozart stuff.
dun ask me why, its just tat its full of essence.

So yeah, sugar is returning from overseas soon.
yayyyyy.
And e bbq on e 14th is all set.
the very 1st time i organised one myself.
den if it werks out well, i shall plan a chalet on jun or july.

Den e next pit stop would be a backpacking holiday sumwhere.
god i need a break.
can u believe, i havent been out of e country for like 2years.

gone were the days of hiking the mountains of malaysia.
i miss those days.

kden, its time to start my revision.
Hope noone disturbs.

tata.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Personal development

People tend to think that if u study business management.
U are only studying for the sake of business and monetary terms.


WRONG!
Yes, skills for business are of course imparted.
MArketing, accounting, I.T, business law bla bla bla.

But people fail to see the other skills impart.
I love my lecturers.
Coz they are super experienced people from the specialized industry.
They know their stuff.
So somehow, my study in MDIS is more fruitful .


Ok. I love the people skills things.
U see, in management we learn to organize, plan, leadership, controlling and to motivate people.
We learn about organizational behaviour.
we learn theories of learning.
We learn stress n conflict management.
we learn communication.

So i love it.
Cause im a people people person.
And if u take the lessons and advice from lecturers seriously,
trust me, you will be developed into a better person.
So thats what i believe i will be.
All this pyschlogical behaviouriol leading motivation organising thingy had made me into a better person.

And i will benefit for life everywhere i go.
This is the diff between technical skills like enginering n management,
Its operational versus conceptual.


talking about studies.
we just got out exam result.
me n a friend got B.
One got C.
One got D.
And one failed.
So yeah.
I got some tutoring to do i guess.
Am planning for a study group so we all can help out one another.

Private dip easy
WRONG!

I hope my other module is A.


okay enough bout studies.
Well, this is what i shall blog for now.

ANd next time no more about studies.
SO boring.............
kan b .
love u yah.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Passion










I seriously miss cookking.
Im so happy to cook.
I fine it a joy to shop for groceries.
And i get an orgasm when ive done the masterpiece n let the receiver enjoy it.
I remembered when i was in sec sch, i wanted to be a chef.
But daddy told me its gonna be always hot in a kitchen n chances for a muslim to go international boundaries is slim.
So im left with cooking for myself n dear.
But mark my words.
If i ever ever got married, i freaking cook great healthy delicious cuisines from all over e whole.
Perfect n improvise my recipes.
I'll pamper my wife with great food n drinks.
honey is in jkt now.
Yeah, we both have to be strong kan.
I hope she's doing well over dere.
Well signed another year kan.
Which means he will be dere for another year.
Which equals to sleepovers!!!
soon i hope.
And it'd be aisha turn to go dere coz of holidays and u will have to work.
Wohooo!
Ive decided to do sum tings in maqrch n april.
Coz i want dear to have fun during her holidays b4 she werk.
So dont worry k honey.
I will always take care of u.
love u.
taste of ink seems good today.


























Thursday, February 12, 2009

epitome

And i see it all so clearly now.

fuzzy for u

one more week of mayhem.
Sometimes i just dont understand why coach is so hard at us.
Sometimes i end my end thinking like wtf! did i just do all that.?
Its amazing how much the body can really handle.
Ure pushed to e max.
The max.
Where u cant lift ur arm.
And u felt like the shoulder just ripped out or something.
My goodness.
It gets harder but we get stronger.



Ok.
fri is where i will finally get my mini netbook.
And im thinking of whether 2 get a 2nd hand dslr from the shop at adelphi.
Its known for quality though.
I got a month to think about it.


Small pieces of skin are starting to peel of my arm.
Im black nw.
not tanned nor copper.
Black.
Thankfully it aint my face nor upper mass.

Yah.
Wore shorts to sch and ppl were calling me sexy.
nothanks lah.
A friend asked for tutoring again.
So i shall call for a group soon.
If dear p jkt lah.
i shall spent the time wisely with revision.
So when april comes and exams is around the corner.
No problemo.


Oh vday this sat right.
Im keeping a hush hush on it.
not gonna tell u............


And sumone owe me 300 bucks.
I hope to receive a nice amount for the gst credits too.
once honey start werk and can overnight id probably plan a chalet/bbq.


Id probably get all the things i want this year.
Netbook, dslr, a desktop for editing.
Oh my goodness do i need retail therapy coz the wardrobe is borinnnng.
I pun nak jaga saham jugak tau.
Im relli sure if i gotten slimmer.

But im sure im running faster and lifting heavier.
I cant wait to get bck indoors at e gym and start runing tracks again.
probably stay away from e sea for quite sum time.


Tmro another class .
Business law.
God its so dry.


I guess i will need a break soon.
tell me abt it.
till then.
bye.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Ur snow on the sahara

So it begins.
Dragonboat.
The most painful and damaging sport i evered tried.
I didnt expect to do it again this year.
Oh well....


After a year of not rowing.
i tell u this.
Definitely the pain will set in.
But even after 1-2 km of nonstop row.
I realise this, that as compared to last year, i have the ability to fight it.
With proper form and conditioning, i was able to give my best.
Thanks to the training ive been doing so far in the past year.

Same goes when i went for class later at night.
After a day of ass whoop.
I was suprised.
whatever that was thought, i absorbed.
Maybe because ive adapt to the fact ive been attending class after when i was tired.
It the body sumhow just evolved.


I remember rejoicing rowing when it was raining.
it felt like the good old times.
It felt like no matter what pain u are enduring, sumone is watching over u.
Giving u hope, strength. telling u to go on.
Tat was how the drops of rain felt on me.


And i question my relationship status at that very point of time.
I kept thinking of her no matter what the pain was.
And i felt it too.
But i just cant. I cant give in. I wont give up.
I noe i can do it.
I noe we can do it.
I gotta fight.
Years of experience brought me here.
I wont. I wont.

It was like moving mountains he thought.
And he kept on versing the same thought in his heart.
that he would cross oceans
and walk on fire.
He will venture on the flame of passion n love.
He wants to be dere.
He wants to be the snow of the sahara.
But like blue and yellow.
Or maybe the scientists or trouble.
He'll be dere.
always.
So yeah.
im gonna be busy.
Not really lah.
Ive learned to manage my time and efforts/energy to what matters.
i noe ive learned and grow.
Cause you bring out the best in me.
I'll always make time.
U can have this opportunity to have time on your own now.
Be it jaded or faded.
I'l fight for you.
Rest and dream well.
Neither sympathy nor sorrow.
Just rational and heart.
love always....................
poetic tragedy chapter 3.
The taste of ink.

Monday, February 02, 2009

forever n ever

i meant every single word.


i didnt mean to jual minyak.



I'll be dere when u nid me.