Never Once


For the first Sunday in months, I walked into church without an aide. No wheelchair. No crutches. No walker. No cane.

I thought back to recent weeks when my husband rolled me into the building, usually with my 3-year-old on one side of my lap, and my 17-month-old on the other. My 11-year-old would walk close by, carrying the bags for the little ones.

I realized that this was the start of something great. A re-birth of sorts.

The band led worship and their final song was “Never Once,” by Matt Redman. I’ve sung it in church before. But this time, it really struck a chord. The lyrics were just right. It brought me to tears.

That morning, Pastor Stu Hodges started a new series called, “Bold.”

He defined bold as “an extraordinary behavior by an ordinary person, because of an extraordinary experience.”

Throughout this journey, I’ve been surrounded by bold people: A husband who solely embraced the role of two parents with three children; a son, who rather than being embarrassed by his mom in a wheelchair or on crutches, remained proud; Parents and in-laws who remained on-call for the duration; a community group who listened and prayed with us each week; an unlimited amount of prayers and support from friends, and even some strangers.

This post is a chance for me to be bold by giving all the glory to God.

If you’ve read my past posts, then you know that this journey of mine has been accompanied by disappointments. At times, it seemed liked they were too constant to bear.

Moments like Sunday, walking into church using only the strength of my own two legs and standing up for worship, seemed a distant hope.

But because a loving God never waned, no matter how distant that hope seemed, I knew that day was coming. And it did.

I’ve been walking aide-free, with only a slight limp. I’m not pain-free, and I don’t expect that I ever will be. But I can say with certainty, that I could not have made it this far without a healing God who carried me through it all.

At times, I’ve felt like David from the Bible, standing up to the mean giant, Goliath. I was just one person in a world of people who were trying to be bold, while overcoming an obstacle.

How could I, so small and insignificant, beat this horrible condition that quickly took away my previous life?

But stone by stone, I took down my giant down. The boldness to do so came from above. I’ve had to leave pieces of myself behind. In a way, I am still grieving the "old me." But spiritually, the "new me" is better off.

Never once did I ever walk alone.

[You can read my full testimony here]:

“So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you." -- Deuteronomy 31:6

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  1. What an awesome moment for you!!!
    Yeah, I was loving the worship music this week more than usual :)

    1. It really was! It was a very powerful set! I hope I can get back in with the kiddos within a few weeks :-) I need to make sure I can get back up from sitting on the floor first, haha!

  2. Thank you for sharing and praise God! Surrounding yourself with bold people will cause you to grow and challenge your faith! Like they say the bigger the giant the harder it falls!

    1. Thanks so much, Jasmyne! Your comment really made me smile :-) Love it!

  3. Ack! I'm sorry, Jennifer! I was on my phone and went hit "publish" to your comment, but accidentally hit "delete" and now I can't find it ... or you! But thank you so much!

  4. I was SO HAPPY to see you walking around church!! YOU ARE BOLD!!

  5. Denise, thank you for encouraging me. I also had a powerful encounter with the Holy Spirit on Sunday - and through that song. I raised my hands. I shouted the promises. I left it all there.

    1. If I'm not mistaken, I believe you and your family may have been sitting directly in front of us at the service. From sitting in the back of the crowd, I could tell that many had a powerful encounter. God is good!



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