I Think I Cane, I Think I Cane

07.13.12

It's been six weeks since my hip replacement surgery. I should be off of my cane by now, but I am not. I can tell my left hip isn't ready -- It painfully reminds when I try to walk without my cane.

The past couple of weekends have been a whirlwind of birthday parties, fireworks, cookouts and baseball games. I may have overdone it somewhere along the way. And the nasty little spill I took down our garage stairs probably didn't help either.

When I wake up in the morning, I can feel the pain before I even start to move. It's a sharp pain that gets worse with very specific movements -- Going from standing to sitting (and vice versa), picking up things from the floor and getting in and out of my car are probably the worst.

I called my orthopedic surgeon last week and set up an appointment to have another x-ray done. Of course, I have to wait two weeks (now, a little more than one) to get into the office. I'm almost positive that the crack in my left hip has gotten worse.

During my hip replacement surgery, the doctor had to go up one size in titanium to make my legs even again. The larger piece of titanium caused a crack in my hip when it was inserted.

In the past two weeks, the pain has worsened. It could be the crack or it could be something completely different. I never know what to expect when I go to see the doctor anymore, so I wouldn't be surprised if it were something I've yet to think of -- or never even heard of.

After all, this all started as pain or inflammation from childbirth and quickly became four surgeries, which has temporarily labeled me as disabled. Sometimes, it all seems like a blurry dream, but reality always snaps back into play when I begin to move.

We'll be spending our weekend packing up for our family reunion in Florida. I am so excited about this trip and I'm glad my appointment isn't until after we get back. I don't want to let any bad news spoil the fun. I will finally get to meet my best friend's baby boy and we are going to stay with her for a couple of nights before meeting up with the rest of the family for the reunion.

I'm strolling right along and enjoying my summer, despite the pain I still feel in my left hip.

In hindsight, the pain I have now is such a minor thing. I think back to a very recent past of extreme limping, uneven legs, time spent in a wheelchair, time on crutches, having to hug my children with one arm, and not being able to lift them.

I may not be ready to walk without a cane, but considering everything my body has been through in the past few months, it's amazing that I am moving along at a pretty steady pace.

I get tired. Sometimes, I still get frustrated. But in the midst of all of that, I'm constantly reminded of how blessed I truly am, and how far I have come.

I am excited to see what God has in store.

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him." -- 1 Corinthians 2:9