Point A to Point Z


This post is WAY overdue. I've been back working for the past 3 weeks, from home and in the office. Since I write full-time for work, I guess I wasn't so quick to write my blog when the work day was done.

But honestly, I felt like I didn't have much to report.

If you are just tuning in, I was diagnosed with Avascular Necrosis or AVN in my hips and shoulders. This means that my blood stopped circulating to those bones and they were deteriorating.

The reason I have nothing to report is because I still don't know why this happened. This is a condition mostly diagnosed in people in their 60s or older. But I'm 32.

Every doctor I have seen have said they've never seen someone with AVN in their shoulder, though they knew it was possible.

I had surgery on my right shoulder and left hip at the start of February. I've been in a wheelchair since. Getting around could easily be the most frustrating part of the recovery process. The best way I can describe it is that I feel 15-years-old again, but not in good way. I can't drive, I have to have my parents take me everywhere (since my husband works full-time and starts work very early). I feel like I'm always asking permission to do things and having to rely on others. It's hard since I've lived independently for more than a decade.

I miss my independence more than anything. I miss taking my children to and from school and going to the baseball field or the park. I dislike asking co-workers to roll me somewhere, then put my wheelchair in the car, drop me off and roll in me. Then, of course I have to get back to where I came from. I have to ask people to do so much for me.

It feels like so much trouble to get from one place to the next. And I feel like I'm constantly imposing on people, even though I don't think they mind helping me. I guess I'm just being stubborn.

My shoulder and hip are improving, slowly but surely. I can actually lift my right arm onto my keyboard to type without using my left arm to lift it there. And my left hip isn't in as much pain. It actually hurts less than my right hip, which hasn't been operated on yet.

I'll be having surgery on my right hip on March 15. And then I will have to start the recovery process all over for another six weeks.

I don't mean to complain. I certainly know it could be so much worse and I know I have PLENTY to be thankful for. God has helped me through it all and I have supportive family and friends and a beautiful family with the most amazing children. And best of all, I was able to wake up again today to experience all of that.

I desperately still want to know why. And still, after several doctors visit, x-rays, MRIs and blood tests no one seems to know.

For me, it seems like a no-brainer. I had Mirena (IUD) inserted in May of 2011 and by August I was limping due to pain in my left hip. By October, the pain spread to my right hip. In December, my right arm felt broken - unable to do much of anything.

It was then that I thought, "Maybe this could be because of my birth control." And I had it removed.

Though AVN, was detected in my left shoulder, it isn't bad enough to operate on. And I haven't had any pain in that shoulder - Thank God! That could change, but for now, it's doing well and is really the only limb that feels like is working. I can't help but wonder if I saved my left shoulder when I had the Mirena removed.

It just makes sense to me. And no one has given me a better explanation.

I wish I could find someone else in my age range who used Mirena and then developed AVN.

I know that God has a greater plan. I simply cannot question that ... ever. And answers may come with time or they might not. Either way, I might be frustrated, but I know I am blessed just being able to experience this place and the next with the people I love so dearly.

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